What Else are Friends For?
by Billy Bob Grint
Summary: Remus and James ask each other for a favour, and well, odd and humourous things come about from it. READ AND REVEW!


**This was for the pervy werewolf livejournal comm. Howl-O-we'en challenge. **

**Notes:** Just note that nowhere in the story is the real Sirius Black present... that should hopefully confuse you less as you read the story from the narratives given.

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"What I don't understand is _why_ we're doing this in the middle of a cemetery," Remus Lupin looked over to James Potter, who was idly playing with some leaves on the ground as he sat perched up against a tree. James merely grunted at Remus, who frowned and looked back into the cauldron in which he was making his potion.  
  
"It's more festive. Hallowe'en and all that rubbish. Where's your sense of festivities?" James chided at Remus. Standing mere feet from James and finishing up the last touches of his Polyjuice Potion, Remus kicked a few of the Autumn leaves that had piled up around James's feet, no doubt deliberately by the stag himself.  
  
"It's almost done... and about time too. Sick of making this stuff for you lot, especially when I'm a worse potions brewer than you are. Why can't you just do this yourself, you're loads better than this than I am." Remus sat down across from James as the potion gurgled under the conjured fire, the light from the half-moon shining over tombstones in the surrounding area outside Hogsmeade.  
  
"I may be the better brewer, but you're better at researching and all that tosh. Besides, Pince has it out for me since Padfoot and I nearly burned down her Astronomy shelves back in May. There was no way she'd let me near the Restricted Section - suppose she thought we might want to start a bonfire with her precious tomes and have a round of marshmallows with the Ravenclaws, hmm?" James threw some leaves back at him childishly as Remus raised an eyebrow, mentally questioning his friend's sanity.  
  
"I'm glad you're willing to do this with me, James. I know Lily hasn't been giving you the time of day even though you two spend so much time together as Head Boy and Girl, but perhaps she's playing hard to get?" - James glowered at this - "Or, maybe not.... I still don't get why you're doing this with me. I know Sirius is in the infirmary, but what if he found out his two best friends, one of which is his _boyfriend_, mind you, was sneaking around behind his back while he tended to a broken leg? Seems a bit wrong, and on one of his favourite holidays, no less! I'll be guilt-ridden over this forever." Remus stood up again, sighing despondently as he made the last comment, and began to pour some of the Polyjuice Potion into a glass flask he had brought with him. He handed the potion in flask to James, who in turn was taking out a glass vial of his own, containing a few black hairs.  
  
"I promised to '_Obliviate_' you after we were done, Moony, so stop getting your knickers in a twist, eh, mate? Now hand over the potion and let me do this, will you?" James held out his hand to take the flask, and after debating over how wrong this truly was in his head, Remus handed it over, grimacing a bit as he saw James plop the hairs in the vial into the green goop of potion. It instantly turned a murky greyish colour, and Remus moaned out his frustration when he acknowledged what the colour was.  
  
_Typical_, Remus though, _for the stupid potion to remind me that I'm doing wrong as it turns the same fucking colour as Sirius's eyes._  
  
James lifted the flask to his mouth and swallowed a mouthful of the Polyjuice potion, then dropping it next to him as he made retching noises. Remus watched in awe as the tall, strong and rather handsome build of Sirius Black transformed from the scrawny and thin frame that was James Potter. He was mesmerised as he saw the bright hazel eyes of Prongs take into the deep grey eyes of Padfoot, and it startled him tremendously, making him feel all the more guilty, but nonetheless very aroused.  
  
"To be honest, I'd rather be a bloody vampire than Padfoot," James, no, Sirius, had admitted to Remus, who still stared thunderstruck at his friend, or was it lover now? He sat in confusion as Sirius took of James's glasses, no longer needing them to see.  
  
"I er... I don't know what to call you, to be right honest. Prongs, or James, or sweet Merlin, do I call you Padfoot now?? For my sanity I'll call you Sirius. It's only for an hour, right, just an hour. You'll be Sirius for an hour and then you can haul me off to the Permanent ward of St. Mungo's, where I'll have to explain why I've gotten all my friends mixed up, yes. I-" James, as Sirius, covered Remus's mouth to stop his rambling, knowing full well that he couldn't use the way the real Sirius did to shut Remus up. Or maybe a good snog would come in handy right about now? James wasn't really sure at the moment.  
  
Remus glared at now what he mentally considered Sirius, just so it would give him less confusion and even less of a headache, which was already growing. Removing the hand still covering his mouth, Remus pushed back Sirius, who howled in pain as his elbow hit the bark of the tree behind him, hard.  
  
"You know, I still can't believe that someone with your reputation and popularity hasn't gotten that far with a girl, and I also don't understand why you would stoop to a boy to help you with your - ah - personal inquiries. Just drop your trousers and we'll be done with this... and deepen your voice a bit - if you look like Sirius, you might as well sound like him, it's the only way I'll get things done here." Remus finished off as though he was about perform a difficult spell in Transfiguration, working out the logistics and the best approach to the matter. James was not amused, and far less turned on.  
  
Remus noticed this instantly, and before James could even respond, his best friend had crushed his lips onto his own, causing James to emit a throaty groan. James could feel, as Remus slid his tongue deftly into his mouth, that Remus was now straddling him, working quickly to unfasten the buttons and zippers of his trousers. He could sense that Remus was rushing things because of the Polyjuice potion, for it was going to wear off in about fourty minutes or so, and he had to get the best out of this version of Sirius, who Remus loved and lusted for, before it turned back to James, for which Remus had no sexual need.  
  
James, feeling slightly used, began to move his hands, or rather Sirius's hands, which were far bigger and rougher than his small, agile ones perfect for the strong grip of a Quaffle, but nothing more. _Definitely not what Sirius probably gripped... most definitely not_, and this was something he knew Remus would point out as a flaw to the real James Potter versus the Adonis Sirius Black. James almost began to feel spiteful toward the person he saw as his brother when he felt long fingers squeeze him through his underpants, causing James to illicit a yelp. Remus stopped kissing him and snorted as they stared at each other for a brief moment, trying to catch their breath.  
  
"Hav-haven't gotten that far, have you? Lucky you've come to such an expert then. I'm honoured there, mate... well, almost. Just take a deep breath and relax a bit. I see no one's ever done this to you before, and as much as I should feel blessed to be the first, and as much as I do love you, but only as a friend, this doesn't quite do it for me since there is no way on Earth Sirius would yelp like a first year - a first year girl, mind you. Now shut up and just go with me, will you, eh?" James frowned with Sirius's mouth as his friend finished his rather derogatory comment, to which Remus couldn't help but to find sexy and began to nibble Sirius's bottom lip as he fisted the straining erection underneath his mate's pants.  
  
James yelped once more. Remus broke off the kiss and rolled his eyes at him.  
  
"You're really pathetic. I love you and all, but really, this is just pathetic. I refuse to help you when you keep screaming like a little girl there. I suppose I can just finish up a good snog with you, figuring you'll release me of all guilt-ridden memories of this, and I can be happy and shagging the real Sirius in peace, who's not such a little bitch, mate," Remus smirked as he pushed his clothed crotch into James bulging erection, causing James to groan in satisfaction. He heard a snort from Remus and groaned again, this time in frustration.  
  
"I am pitiful. But what am I going to do about this?" James gestured down to his crotch, and Remus could only chuckle as he looked up at his friend, giving James a swift kiss, and squeezing James's erection almost painfully and jerked it a few times, no longer caring if what he was doing was erotic or sexual, and just wanting the experience, albeit interesting and irritating, to be done with.  
  
James gripped Remus's shoulders tightly and howled once more as Remus flicked his thumb over the tip of his cock with the right amount of pressure to cause to come all over Remus's hand and his underpants. Panting to regain his breath back, James collapsed on the tree behind him, Sirius's long bangs covering his eyes as he stared blankly at the vast space of the cemetery before them. He felt Remus get off his lap and mutter something to himself, probably a cleaning charm for his hand, and heard him walk over to the cauldron which had the remains of the Polyjuice potion.  
  
"You alright there? Haven't killed you, have I?" Remus smiled somewhat tightly, and James knew it was because he was trying to hold his laughter in. James began to stand up, which took a bit of effort as his trousers were somewhere pooled at his ankles and his underpants were completely drenched of sweat and cum. He heard Remus mutter a few more charms and saw the potion and cauldron vanish before his eyes as he pulled his, or rather the jeans he had 'borrowed' from Sirius for the transformation, as his own were too tight for Sirius's body.  
  
"You little -" but whatever Remus was James couldn't say as he felt himself transform back to his own body, the long flowing bangs falling into his eyes, shortening back to the untidy hair that stuck out in all unmanageable directions, his hands turning back to the small ones God had given him as opposed to the large ones Sirius was blessed with, his legs and torso, and above all, his face turning back to its original state. Remus looked over and laughed at how baggy Sirius's clothes looked on James, who was now putting his glasses back on, as he motioned for his friend to come over to him.  
  
"Alright, so you've had your fun now, eh Prongs? Now you're going to _obliviate_ me and never speak about ANY of this night to Sirius or anyone is that clear, Potter?" Remus warned James gravely, and as James pointed his wand at his friend and muttered the memory charm, grabbing hold of Remus who felt the unsteady and dazed after effects of the charm. He felt more than ready to head back to school.  
  
Remus blinked a few times and looked over to James groggily as he muttered, "So James, what do you want to do for Hallowe'en, hmm?"  
  
James rolled his eyes and walked with his friend back to school, muttering about dumb potions and even dumber best friends who were far more experienced than him.

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